One of the Indian Humour

A Japanese tourist hailed a taxi in downtown Delhi and asked to be taken to the Indira Gandhi airport.

On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, 'Oh! Toyota - Made in Japan! Very fast!'Funny Indian Taxi Joke

Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi. 'Oh! Nissan - Made in Japan! Very fast!'  Then yet another car zipped by, and the tourist said, 'Oh! Mitsubishi - Made in Japan! Very fast!'

The taxi driver, who was 100% Indian, was starting to get a little annoyed that the Japanese made cars were passing his taxi, when yet another car passed the taxi as they were turning into the airport. 'Oh! Honda - Made in Japan! Very fast!'

The taxi driver stopped the car, pointed to the meter, and said, 'That'll be Rupees 500.'
'Rupees 500? It was short ride! Why so much?'

The Taxi driver smiled as he replied, 'Meter - Made in India. Very fast.'

5 Nice one line stories with morals..

1. Once, all villagers decided to pray for rain, on the day of prayer all the People gathered but only one boy came with an umbrella...

THAT'S FAITH

2. When you throw a baby in the air, she laughs because she knows you will catch her...

THAT'S TRUST

3. Every night we go to bed, without any assurance of being alive the next Morning but still we set the alarms in our watch to wake up...

THAT'S HOPE

4. We plan big things for tomorrow in spite of zero knowledge of the future or having any certainty of uncertainties...

THAT'S CONFIDENCE

5. We see the world suffering. We know there is every possibility of same or similar things happening to us. But still we get married??...

NOW THAT'S OVER CONFIDENCE!!

Sand and Stone

Sand and Stone

A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE."

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one, who had been slapped, got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After the friend recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"

The other friend replied: "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND, AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE

Water and Believers

Water and Believers

Water is so flexible that where ever you place it, it takes the shape of that object. For example, if you put some water in a glass, it takes the shape of the glass. If you run the water through a tangled hose, it will take the shape of that also.

The believers are very obedient, gentle, and kind, like an obedient camel which when led follows and when made to sit, even though on a rock, does so obediently.

True Devotion and True Devotee

Swami Vivekanada

Once Swami Vivekananda was in a certain town to give spiritual discourses. People recognised in him a great monk and profound scholar. They listened to his discourses with rapt attention for about three days. Every day, when the discourse came to an end, some people used to gather around him to ask about certain subtle points on Sadhana, Ethics and Sastras. Students were eager to know about national regeneration and the solutions he could suggest.

There was an old man sitting in a corner observing Vivekananda with avidity but could not speak one word. He was there all the three days, waiting for a chance to be near the monk. On the third day he made bold, went to him and said: "Son! Shall I bring you something to eat? These people never gave you anything nor did they give you time to relax and think about your food. I shall run and be back with food and drink for you." Vivekananda was greatly touched by the loving words spoken by the old man. He said with a beaming smile: "Come, let us go together to your place to eat and drink." Blessed indeed was the old man for he had sympathy and consideration for a fellow human being. He was ready to render loving service to the monk. This indeed is true devotion and he is indeed a true devotee.

Source: Chinna Katha II, 218

Love is Always True. But lovers...

True Love

One day, a young guy and a young girl fell in love.

But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy.

So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand.

But there was another problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year. The week before he left, the man knelt on his knee and asked his lady love, “Will you marry me?” She wiped a tear, said yes, and they were engaged. They agreed that when he got back in one year, they would get married.

But tragedy struck. A few days after he left, the girl had a major vehicular accident. It was a head-on collision.

When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her father and mother crying. Immediately, she knew there was something wrong.

She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged. Her once lovely face was now disfigured. She cried as she saw herself in the mirror. “Yesterday, I was beautiful. Today, I’m a monster.” Her body was also covered with so many ugly wounds.

Right there and then, she decided to release her fiancé from their promise. She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never see him again.

For one year, the soldier wrote many letters—but she wouldn’t answer. He phoned her many times but she wouldn’t return her calls.

But after one year, the mother walked into her room and announced, “He’s back from the war.”

The girl shouted, “No! Please don’t tell him about me. Don’t tell him I’m here!”

The mother said, “He’s getting married,” and handed her a wedding invitation.

The girl’s heart sank. She knew she still loved him—but she had to forget him now.

With great sadness, she opened the wedding invitation.

And then she saw her name on it!

Confused, she asked, “What is this?”

That was when the young man entered her room with a bouquet of flowers. He knelt beside her and asked, “Will you marry me?”

The girl covered her face with her hands and said, “I’m ugly!”

The man said, “Without your permission, your mother sent me your photos. When I saw your photos, I realized that nothing has changed. You’re still the person I fell in love. You’re still as beautiful as ever. Because I love you!”

Who Packed Your Parachute

Who Packed Your Parachute

Plumb ejected and parachuted into enemy hands. He was captured and spent 6 years in a communist Vietnamese prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on lessons learned from that experience!
One day, when Plumb and his wife were sitting in a restaurant, a man at another table came up and said, "You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!"

"How in the world did you know that?" asked Plumb.

"I packed your parachute," the man replied. Plumb gasped in surprise and gratitude. The man pumped his hand and said, "I guess it worked!" Plumb assured him, "It sure did. If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today."

Plumb couldn't sleep that night, thinking about that man. Plumb says, "I kept wondering what he had looked like in a Navy uniform: a white hat; a bib in the back; and bell-bottom trousers. I wonder how many times I might have seen him and not even said 'Good morning, how are you?' or anything because, you see, I was a fighter pilot and he was just a sailor." Plumb thought of the many hours the sailor had spent at a long wooden table in the bowels of the ship, carefully weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands each time the fate of someone he didn't know.

Now, Plumb asks his audience, "Who's packing your parachute?" Everyone has someone who provides what they need to make it through the day. He also points out that he needed many kinds of parachutes when his plane was shot down over enemy territory - he needed his physical parachute, his mental parachute, his emotional parachute, and his spiritual parachute. He called on all these supports before reaching safety.

Sometimes in the daily challenges that life gives us, we miss what is really important. We may fail to say hello, please, or thank you, congratulate someone on something wonderful that has happened to them, give a compliment, or just do something nice for no reason. As you go through this week, this month, this year, recognize people who pack your parachutes.

The three legged chickens

A couple was driving the car on a country road. Suddenly a three legged chicken came running after the car, passed it and run into a side road.

"Wow!" said the husband "Did you see how fast that chicken could run!" Shortly after another chicken came and passed the car with a tremendous speed. The wife said "And did you see that it had three legs!"

Now they were really curious about these chickens so they descided to follow the road where the three legged chickens just went. Eventually they came up to a farm and to their surprise there were many three legged chickens running around. The farmer came out to greet them. Now they had to ask him about how is it possible to breed three legs chickens?

The farmer explained: "You see we are three in this family, me, my wife and our son. And every time we had chicken to eat, we all wanted the chicken club. So we tried and tried and managed to create a rase of three legged chicken so we all could have a club!

Fantastic! And how does this chickens taste?
"Well", said the farmer, "there is a problem - we have still not been able to catch one!"

The Life - Important things

A philosophy professor stood before his class with some items on the table in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, about 2 inches in diameter.

He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous “Yes.”

“Now,” said the professor, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things – your family, your partner, your health, your children – things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter – like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else. The small stuff.”

“If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued “there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal.

Take care of the rocks first – the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

Look before you leap

Two Frogs lived together in a marsh. But one hot summer the marsh dried up, and they left it to look for another place to live in: for frogs like damp places if they can get them. By and by they came to a deep well, and one of them looked down into it, and said to the other, "This looks a nice cool place. Let us jump in and settle here."

But the other, who had a wiser head on his shoulders, replied, "Not so fast, my friend. Supposing this well dried up like the marsh, how should we get out again?"

"Look before you leap."

Do you know A to Z?

A - Avoid Negative Sources, Thoughts, People.
B - Believe in Yourself.
C - Consider things from all angles.
D - Don't Give up or Give In.
E - Enjoy Life Today. Tomorrow may not come.
F - Family and Friends are Hidden Treasures. Gift of God to you.
G - Give more than you Planned to Give.
H - Hang on to your Dreams.
I - Ignore those who Discourage you.
J - Just Do it!
K - Keep doing no matter how hard it seems! It will become easier.
L - Love yourself First and Most.
M – Make it Happen.
N - Never Lie, Cheat or Steal. Always strike a fair deal.
O – Own up your Mistakes. That is the least you can do.
P – Practice makes you Perfect.
Q – Quitters Never Win and Winners never Quit.
R – Read, Study and Learn everything Important in your Life.
S – Stop Procrastinating.
T – Take Control of your Destiny.
U – Understand yourself better to understand others.
V - Visualize It!
W - Want it more than anything.
X – Xcellerate your efforts.
Y – You are Unique of God’s Creation. Nothing can Replace you.
Z – Zero in your target and Go for it.

Be Creative... Better Ways!

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, "I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.

What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply told people to help by putting some money in the hat. The second sign told people that they were able to enjoy the beauty of the day, but the boy could not enjoy it because he was blind. The first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

Union gives strength

A father had a family of sons who were always quarreling among themselves. When he failed to solve their fights with his advice, he decided to give them a practical illustration of the evils of disunion; and for this purpose he one day told them to bring him a bundle of sticks.

When they had done so, he placed the bundle into the hands of each of them in succession, and ordered them to break it in pieces. They tried with all their strength, but were not able to do it.

Next, he opened the bundle, took the sticks separately, one by one, and again put them into his sons' hands, and asked them to break it, and they could do so very easily.

He then told them: "My sons, if you stay together and help each other, you will be as strong as this bundle, and no enemy can beat you; but if you are divided among yourselves, you will be broken as easily as these sticks."

The sons understood the message, thanked, and promised the father to always be together no matter what.

Face difficulties positively

This parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer’s well. The farmer heard the mule praying or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together, told them what had happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, HE WOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP!

This he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up!” He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought panic and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP!

It wasn’t long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him . . . all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

THAT’S LIFE! If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity.

Grandfather’s experience

A grandfather talking to his grandson about a tragedy he witnessed:

“I feel as if I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One is the vengeful, angry, violent one. The other wolf is the loving, compassionate one.”

“Grandfather, which wolf will win the fight in your heart?” asked his Grandson.

Grandfather answered, “The one I feed.”

Give your best to relationships...

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her.

The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed. The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.

That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn’t sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.

Moral of the story:

If you don’t give your hundred percent in a relationship, you’ll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent..

This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship etc. Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully.

Learn from Mistakes

Thomas Edison tried two thousand different materials in search of a filament for the light bulb. When none worked satisfactorily, his assistant complained, “All our work is in vain. We have learned nothing.”

Edison replied very confidently, “Oh, we have come a long way and we have learned a lot. We know that there are two thousand elements which we cannot use to make a good light bulb.”

The story of a blind girl and her boy friend

There was a blind girl who hated herself just because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She said that if she could only see the world, she would marry her boyfriend.

One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her and then she could see everything, including her boyfriend. Her boyfriend asked her, “now that you can see the world, will you marry me?”

The girl was shocked when she saw that her boyfriend was blind too, and refused to marry him. Her boyfriend walked away in tears, and later wrote a letter to her saying:

“Just take care of my eyes dear.”

A Book of Kisses

Some time ago, a man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty.

He yelled at her, “Don’t you know that when you give someone a present, there’s supposed to be something inside it?”

The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said,”Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy.”

The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.
It is told that the man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

How the poor live

One day, a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, “How was the trip?”

“It was great, Dad.”

“Did you see how poor people live?” the father asked.

“Oh yeah,” said the son.

“So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?” asked the father.

The son answered, “I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden, and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden, and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on, and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us; they have friends to protect them.”

The boy’s father was speechless.

Then his son added, “Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are.”